Tame my daughter (A Wattpad-like cliche)

 "You're the worst person that ever lived!"

"Noted."

"Children run, screaming, at the sight of you."

"Aww, baby. I love you, too."

"Mother Theresa mocks you in her gr-"

The flight attendant cleared her throat. "I'm sorry, Sir and Madam, but if you could just hand me your flight tickets and be on your way, that'd be amazing." She gestured to the line of people behind,  glaring at them. "You're kinda holding up the line, you see."

The man smiled, self drepecatingly, handing her their tickets. "I'm so sorry about this. My wife is just really cranky because I didn't kiss her. But that's because of her really bad morning breath." His wife scoffed, in disbelief. Ignoring her,  he went on. "and- "

"Uhm, Sir?" The attendant cut in. "I...uhm.. really don't care. Next!"

****

Alex Webber was a very pissed off man. His weekend had begun quite differently than he had planned. A real estate mogul and an investment enthusiast, he was wealthy beyond his wildest imagination. He had enough money to last him, ten lifetimes- or two, he thought to himself. If the way his useless kids went through it was anything to go by. 

His wife was at some fancy club for rich wives. He'd never understand the appeal they held. All they did was play bridge, milk money from their husbands and gossip about the side flings they had. 

Speaking of which... 

He looked over at the pool house, where Alejandro, their poolboy, stacked supplies. He knew the little shit had been banging his wife and would have fired his ass, but didn't  because of one thing.

He was banging him, too. 

His cell rang, and the caller's identification made him groan. Pressing the answer button, he snapped, "What now?"

As he listened, he smiled, until he was bent over in rib-aching laughter. "You're kidding, right? How the hell did that happen?"

Pause. "You know what? Head for the Delridge Mansion," He said, looking over at Alejandro. "I think a family reunion is due."

****

 Jason Crosse looked over at his wife, who was already tuckered out from screaming at him, earlier- and, most importantly, from the little pill he had managed to slip into her margarita. 

He smiled and caressed her hair, affectionately.

The very spawn of Satan, himself.  

A little chilly, he snuggled into the blanket he'd been provided, thanks to flying first-class, and tried to sleep. They had less than thirty minutes to land, and he was more nervous than he had ever been, in his life. How exactly would he react, he wondered. 

Some pretty fucked up things had happened to him on the job, over the years, but this was the first to actually threaten his sanity. 

His wife mumbled in her sleep and turned over. 

He grinned. 

Yeah... Wifey would not like this one. 

*****

"Over my dead body, Jason Crosse!"

"Well, that can easily arranged, Dalia Crosse."

She looked at the mansion that spelled all shades of doom. 

Okay, Dalia, think! 

She needed a way out, and she needed it fast. "OK, look," she began. 

Jason smirked. "Go on. I'm listening."

"I don't hate you or anything. In fact, I understand you're just doing your job and I respect that. I respect you. Jay-"

"Oh, it's Jay, now- "

She ignored him. "Many people misunderstand  and judge me, but you are an exception, and I promise if you let me go, I'll be very grateful." She said, squeezing his biceps and fluttering her lashes. 

Jason pretended to think about it. "How grateful exactly, Mrs. Crosse?"

She leaned in close, her lips really close to his ear. "Very, very grateful."

He smiled, and looked into her eyes. "That's quite a shame, Dalia. You see, I'm not attracted to ugly girls."

"You son of a bi-"

"What is going on here?" 

At that, she spun around. "Daddy! Thank God you're here. I've missed you, dearly."

Alex Webber grinned. "Save the theatrics, sweetheart." He shook hands with Jason. "I trust your trip was bearable," he said, with a not-so-subtle glance at Dalia. 

Jason grinned. "Nothing I couldn't handle, Sir."

"Please, call me Alex. We're in-laws, after all."

Dalia frowned. "Wait. You know about that?" "Sweetheart, i know everything about everything. I'm just glad you decided to settle down." 

Dalia was speechless. "It was a Vegas wedding!"

Her dad tutted. "Now, sweetheart, a wedding is a wedding, irrespective of its location. It's legally binding and till death does you part."

"We were drunk! Daddy, I don't even know his middle name!" She stomped her feet. 

"Simmer down, princess. We have our whole lives for that." Jason said, throwing his hands over her shoulders. Enraged, she shrugged him off. "I want- No. I demand an annulment."

The two men watched her stomp away in amusement. "What do I do now, Sir?"

"Well, this is a situation we didn't prepare for. I told you to bring my daughter back home, Jason, not  marry her."

Jason had the grace to look shamefaced. "I'm sorry,  Sir. I already spoke with my lawyer, concerning an annulment."

Alex thought for a minute. "We could do that, or we could see how this plays out."

"Sir?"

"Jason, that girl blew over a million dollars of my money in one casino. And that was just last week! Thinking of my other children gives my bank account a heart attack. I need to see if being tied down, figuratively, would bring some kind of change. This experiment should last only a month."

Jason blanched. "Excuse me?"

"Name your price, my boy. I need you to tame my daughter."