Hot coworkers.
We all have them. Can live with them, and choose not to live without them, workplace sexual harassment suits be damned!
Disclaimer: Jk, guys. Please respect other people.
I don't shit where I eat.
Humorous saying, but valid af.
*insert British accent* "Of course you should not ingest where you excrete! Why, that's bloody unhygienic!"
For the love of the queen, Susan, calm your tits! I'll explain.
Sometime in the early twenties, a social scientist from the school of fictitious scholars, named Baristotle, discovered that placing two elements in a semi confined space, where one was of a hot nature and both were extremely volatile, over a prolonged period of time, caused a reaction known today as, "Awkwardness".
In his effort to proffer solution to this problem, Philosopher Baristotle coined the phrase, "I don't shit where I eat" or IDSWIE, for short.
True story.
Now, to us mere mortals, the phrase above expresses a reluctance to have romantic relations with coworkers.
I mean, they say "coworkers" but I say ANYONE likely to be a part of a social circle you can't, for the foreseeable future, break out of.
It could be your pastor ("...for the devil dwells in lies... Not unlike Sis. Clare who swore her undying love to me last year...") or even a doctor at the hospital you frequent ("The patient in ward C with the headache complaint should be given this coma-inducing injection. Also, here's a 'Do not resuscitate' form which she happened to sign a minute ago. *wink*")
Wow. And those aren't even the worst scenarios that come to mind.
Moving on...
The IDSWIE was one I followed religiously until I happened to come across an exception to the rule, prompting me to add a "U" to the acronym.
I Don't Shit Where I Eat Unless...
a. Coworker looks like Chris Evans, treats you like any K-drama protagonist and Focuses Until Current Knowledge Surpasses like Johnny Sins after a year's vacation. (Sorry, mom.)
Or
b. Said Coworker has the funds to make a down payment on your soul.
Impossible, I know, ergo, there are no exceptions to the rule. In my opinion, of course.
But I'm curious... What could be the difference/tipping point between upholding the rule and pulling off an Elsa ... Ya know, letting it go?
I want to hear your opinions and stories on this topic so, please, send me an email (victoriaanyanwu335@gmail.com) or a DM on WhatsApp.
This is, hopefully, a two-part series and I'd love to feature you guys in the next part.
Much love,
Vicki.
